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Half a person - Life has meaning even with limitations

Half a person

 

I often feel like

I'm only half a person.

 

Because of the war,

I lost body parts.

Now my whole life

is turned upside down.

Everything, absolutely everything,

is different now,

and I have to do without so much.

 

Hours of agonizing,

days of accusation, anger, and despair

are all too familiar to me now.

I live with phantom pain,

and there are moments

when I just want to give up.

 

But I will not give up hope;

I want to keep fighting.

I've already learned so much,

and using prostheses and all sorts of aids

is now part of my daily life.

 

But I also have to learn

to keep my own mental attitude

toward my new life situation

under control.

 

Too often, negative thoughts

still prevail.

I want to learn to reorient myself.

I want to become an overcomer,

and no longer remain stuck

in a victim mentality,

because I've realized

that it just keeps me going in circles.

 

There's a reason

why God saved my life.

There's a reason

why I survived.

 

I want to learn

to completely rethink my life

and redesign it

despite all my limitations.

 

I want to look to God,

to be touched by Him inwardly,

because He said that His Holy Spirit

is my comforter and supporter.

 

If God let me live,

then He also has

a purpose and a task for me,

precisely in my situation.

 

He is the one who cared for me.

He is the one who nurses me

back to health.

He is the one who gives me

meaning and strength, realigns me,

and loves me just as much

as he did before my disability.

 

Perhaps I had to go through

all this trauma before I could

even look to Him

and grant Him access

to my own heart.

 

God alone is the one

who restores my psyche.

Even though I have had to live

with physical limitations

for some time now,

I want to make sure

I become strong inside again,

because in God's eyes

I remain a whole person,

loved by Him completely.



(2703260515-0553,2703260607-0629)

 


 

1.Samuel 16:7b (The Israel Bible)

For not as man sees [does Hashem see]; man sees only what is visible, but Hashem sees into the heart.

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