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Obstructed love - What keeps me from experiencing true love

Obstructed Love

 

Piece by piece

I have obstructed 

my own access

to your love.

 

More and more

I only had in my mind

what could be seen, felt

and tasted.

Material things

as well as power and prestige

became bigger priorities.

 

Soon I noticed

that they left me

unfulfilled as well.

But the world

did not offer anything else.

I had almost forgotten

that I was able to look

beyond the earthly things.

 

My own mistakes

obstructed my access

to your love.

It did not occur to me any longer

that you are gracious with me.

 

I was so busy with

trying to catch the luck and love

this world had to offer,

that I completely forgot you

as being the author of love.

 

My disobedience towards you,

my worldly shortsightedness,

my self-centered egotism,

and my stubbornness

were like the walls

in my own prison.

 

I had always been searching

for real and lasting love.

Deep down in my heart

I knew that it existed,

but by now

I no longer had any idea

how I could get ahold of it.


With all my luxury

I was imprisoned with unhappiness

and bound to worries and fear.

 

Deep in me

I knew the answer,

but all that I heard

and believed

in the last few years

has taught me

that you are not important

and are not a help to start out with.


I believed

this false doctrine,

and that was

like the key

that kept my prison doors locked.

 

I was so deeply stuck

in my own faults

that I was no longer receptive

to your love,

and even got angry

every time someone mentioned

your name.

 

Oh how could I be so dumb

and allowed myself to be

led astray

when I know deep down

that only you

give the love

that I had been longing for

the whole time!!!

 

Lord help me

to tear down the trash

with which I have obstructed

the access to your love.

Help me

to align myself with you again.

Help me,

so that I can

experience your love

all new again.

 


 (0706130725-0748,080614-2047-2113)



Talmud, Avot 4:1

Conquering impulses and self-centered desires is essential to form genuine, lasting relationships and cultivate compassion.

 

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