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Sorrow - Why God sometimes allows bad things to happen - From accusations to thankfulness

Sorrow

 

It will be years

before I understand

the reason for what

you have caused me to go through.


But one thing is for sure:

it totally threw me off course.

My whole existence

was shaken,

my hopes and dreams scattered.


Earlier I saw life with pink colors

but for a long time

I could only see black.


But slowly I can feel

that there are other colors.

Colors that I would otherwise

not have realized

because life is far more

than hope and disappointment.


Sometimes I wonder

what would have come of me

if I would have gotten

all of my wishes and my will.


I would probably be

so busy with myself

that I could not see

my surroundings in a real sense.


Career, entertainment

and lust would be

on the list of things

that were desperately to be done.


I would have repressed

any possible feelings of guilt

that necessary restoration and

management of them

would not have found a place

even at the bottom of my list.


It’s YOUR fault

that I had to endure

all this suffering.


It was YOU

who robbed me

of my joy

for a long time.


Because of YOU

I cannot do

many things now.

I could have really

let you have it.


Until one day I realized

there was

a more important reason

and you knew

why you locked my door.


YOU changed everything.


YOU examined me

through and through.

By that YOU gave me the chance

to recognize my true self.


But YOU did not

leave me alone in this process.


YOU locked one door

while opening another one

and waited patiently

until I decided

to turn around.


Now you gave me new friends,

people who understand

my situation quite well.


I no longer need to buy

the attention of others at all cost

and plead to find an open ear.


It’s YOUR fault

that I am doing better now.


I can thank YOU

that I now have friends

who value and respect me.


YOU were the teacher

who trained me

in a new job.


YOU came up

with the idea

to throw me out of my nest

because it had long been

too small for me

and I did not know

that I could fly.


YOU,

for a long time I was not sure

if I should love or hate YOU

for what you did to me.


But by now

I am wondering more and more

it there was a bit of love

in all the sorrow.

 

 

(3110052255-2359,2306120646-0717)



Talmud, Yoma 86b

Difficulties are viewed as opportunities for teshuvah (return), ethical reflection, and spiritual growth. They help one recognize dependence on God and the need for inner transformation.

 

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